The winding dirt road to recovery

I’ve been absent. I’ve been eating like an asshole. I’ve been losing myself to the days of old. Yuck.
This foot recovery is taking forever and not going well. Overdoing it several weeks ago has set me back to before started. PT Andrea tested me this weekend and my mobility numbers have gotten a bit worse. I have to work on my stretching and exercises at home…. I’m just really low in motivation these days.
My sugar addiction has reared it’s obscenely ugly head, as well.
I gave myself a bit of a talking to and went off the sugar train today to get back on the wagon…. Well, I meant to, but then I went to the grocery store hungry… Dumb ass. So I stripped the house again tonight of refined sugars and start again now.
I also joined a different gym that has a pool (a small 17 yard pool, but workable) as going to the community pool while all of the local teams are practicing wasn’t going to happen. This morning I was there at 5:45a on the elliptical for 25 minutes then swimming for 20. I’m gonna like this pool…. the only others there were in their 70’s and unwilling to put their hair in the water (which is a skill of it’s own). I felt like a super swimming star! If you saw me swimming you’d know this statement is hysterical 😉 I also practiced flip turns: big fun! 

With the offending foot hurting so much, I’ve backed off on biking but that could also be because the Blerch has owned my ass the last few weeks. As long as my pain stays lower this week…. Oh hell, I’m already planning on riding tomorrow morning (easy, no hills). I need to kick the Blerch in the balls and take my ass back. Oooh, I’m volunteering this Saturday at the Beat the Blerch race in Seattle…..I’ll kick him there ;D

 My goal is to complete the Lake Padden tri next June. I don’t want to set any running goals other than that before I see the orthopedic doc on October 6th…. I’m hopeful that he can at least take care of some of what seems to be a myriad of problems with my left foot. 

I do well with training, in fact I love training, so I’m a bit lost right now without my lover running. Amazing how much of my identity is attached to it. Finding myself reverting to old ways is depressing…. Hmmm… Which may be anger turned in so I’m actually intentionally harming myself? Interestingly, and thankfully, I have therapy tomorrow….. We’re working on shame and I’ve yet to have a session since I returned where I haven’t cried. I really need to get back to running, really. 

 PS: Thank you keepgoinggreen for inspiring me and motivating me to get in the pool.

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